Crack-whore

Crack-whore

The campus minister at my Uni suggested to me a few times that I might like to try some crack-cocaine, to which I replied that if he was going to be my dealer, at least in the interim, I saw no reason why not.



Now, for those of you who don’t know TAG, this may seem an exceedingly strange (and even morally questionable) suggestion from a Catholic campus minister at a Catholic university. Those who do know him, however, will know - either from an educated guess or because he has made a similar suggestion to you - that he is not suggesting I take up an illicit substance.

TAG knows that I’ve been struggling to order my priorities in the past year and, so, suggested that I may want to take up crack as an analogy for discerning my top priority and sticking to that, making sure it comes before all else. Naturally, the next most important will fall into line and the third thereafter and so on.

In a sense, my campus minister suggested that what ever it is that becomes my number one priority ought to have a certain addictive quality about it. In this way - the suggestion runs - I will necessarily commit myself to fulfilling my priority.

My move and the quiet that is currently in my new house has given me time to think over my priorities; that, and an exercise set by my spiritual director. The answer seems crazily simple. There is only One that should be my priority, and this, this I have known since as long as I can recall. That is not the simple part. I have always struggled over how I could make my other priorities ordered around that. “Surely,” I reasoned, to myself, “it would be easier to become addicted to family or studies or friends or helping others, than to place God as my number one priority. Is not love for others the most concrete way of showing love for God?” But this has been my problem: if I don’t place God first in my life, how do I know which other aspect of my life or being is to come first?

God is easy to become addicted to. People who ‘don’t really believe’ in Him but happen to go to Mass for two consecutive Sundays have said to me that they feel guilty or ‘bad’ for not going the following Sunday. I have found, recently, that the more time I spend in Eucharistic Adoration, the more time I want to spend there. It becomes less and less of a chore. So many other things have had to wait an hour or three while I go to adoration. Just last night - a case in point - I attended my rostered Hour and found myself unable to leave for some two hours after mine had been completed. Why? Because I could not see anything better to be doing; not even sleep, late as it was. It is so very, very easy to become addicted to God.

My problem now, that is, now that I’ve decided to place God as my number One, is that I must remember that there are many aspects to my relationship with God. For example, it can - and very probably will -  become extremely easy for me to shirk my studies in favour of contemplative time spend in front of the Blessed Sacrament or at Mass, or at some other devotion. Therefore, I need to view all my responsibilities as Services to my Lord and God. My course of study was chosen that I might gain a better understanding of the faith which I profess. Serving others is the most concrete way to outwardly display my love of Him and it is the best and easiest form of evangelisation.

For 2011, my One and Only priority is God, Most High.
For 2011, I will dedicate my self ardently to my studies so that I will come to a more clear understanding of the Faith I profess.
For 2011, my Service to those around me will be securely tied to my Service of He who is the Creator of us all.
For 2011, my New Years Resolution and my only goal is God.

This year, I will become utterly addicted to my God. Those around me will know, by the end of the year, that I will only be friends with my enablers - with those who feed my addiction. Everyday, if I don’t get my ‘hit’, those around me will know and will find some way of allowing me to get it.


And so I sign off this post:
Addicted to God
For His greater Glory
For Ever and Ever.

Amen