Friday, September 30, 2011

How long, oh Lord? How long?

Have you ever had the feeling of your heart been torn, very slowly, both out of your chest and into pieces?
Have you ever wanted to give a complete stranger a bear-hug and tell them that everything's alright and that they don't have to go through their pain anymore?
Have you ever wanted to cry, but not had the tears?
Have you ever asked God to allow you to suffer some horrible fate, rather than allow an injustice to occur?
Have you ever wondered what type of good He must be bringing out of a great evil, while thanking Him for that good?
Have you ever wanted to run away screaming, yet found yourself unable to tear yourself away?
Have you ever gone to speak, but no sound would come out of your mouth?
Have you ever wondered what their pain is like, and wished you could take it away?
Have you ever longed for them to stop, and been unable to show them why they ought to?

How do you say "I love you and I want the best for you" to people who don't want you to speak to them?
How do you piece your heart back together after the one you've loved has been torn apart?
How do you continue to get up in the morning, when the whole world seems to be against the love you long to show?
How do you give to the next person, when you've emptied yourself entirely for this one?
How do you explain what drives you to do it over and over and over again?
How do you explain why you are there and how you can stay there all day, without others around?

I just sat down to blog about today's experience of praying and side-walk counselling, but I don't know where to start or what to say. These are my questions.


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