Left Behind

BREAKING NEWS: THE RAPTURE HAS HAPPENED AND ALL PRACTICING  CATHOLICS HAVE BEEN LEFT BEHIND

Earth, 8pm, Saturday May 21st

Exclusive report by Left-Behind-Catholic-Blogger Kelly Clark.

In an exclusive on the 'phone interview, this Catholic Blogger had the chance to speak with one of her judges-to-be and friend-when-he-was-on-earth, Thomas.

According to Tom, "the coverage here [in Heaven] is better. There were some rooms in my house back there where there was no coverage at all, so it's got that going for it."

When asked how it felt to know that he'd soon be judging me, Tom replied, that "they told all of us not to read the news papers so that our opinion wouldn't be biased," but it appears the Powers at Be do not seem to consider telephone conversations to be a bias-provoking mechanism.

It seems that Baptised Catholics who no longer attend regular Sunday Mass and the agnostics are among the Saved, though no practicing Catholic is reported to be among the 144,000.

"For those left behind, the apocolypse has just begun."