Saturday, June 11, 2011

On God, Death and Taxis.

I’ve just had a lovely evening with Paul.

It’s amazing how God can answer your prayers when you actually ask. God has been so good to me in these past weeks, giving me situations that test me and refine me while not withholding even the small graces that I need and ask for.

I’ve been seeking an opportunity to get to know Paul a little better. Having known him for six months, I’ve felt like he’s known me better than I have known him. This is mostly due to my inability to speak prudently about myself.

What I mean is, I have the inordinate tendency to reveal more that would be prudent about my life to people who either have not asked or do not need to know; sometimes both. This is evidenced in what I write on this blog, most often. For this reason, Paul - who is blest with the gift of such prudence as I lack and who is a counsellor and very caring by nature - knew much, much more about my life and spiritual growth than I did about him.
None of this is inherently bad.
On the other hand, knowing that I need to temper my lack of prudence, I have resolved not to share random anecdotes about my life with people who I knew comparatively little about. This has required learning (albeit slowly) new conversation techniques, including listening. It’s been fruitful.

I digress.

I’ve always felt comfortable around Paul and he’s something of an older brother to me, so (my new conversation skills still lacking) I prayed that I would be able to know Paul better some how. This has been a prayer of mine for a few weeks now. This consistency in prayer is something else I’ve been working on. I have had the inclination to give-up on my intentions if they’re not answered immediately. Or, well, at least very soon. I need to learn to die to myself. Instead of being arrogant and assuming that God should do things in my time, I need to realise that He is outside of time and eternal, and, moreover, that He is God.

This evening, after Mass (which, unfortunately wasn’t the vigil Mass for Pentecost but was a Pentecost Sunday Day Mass without the Sequence [perhaps there’ll be more on this in a different post/rant]) Paul invited me to share a meal with him. Given that I could have been using the time to study - and having mentioned as much to Paul - I took very little convincing.

Deciding to go to the Mezz, Paul suggested that Fish and Chips should be on the menu. Having arrived there - at the Mezz, that is - we decided that the Authentic Japanese Restaurant (not it’s name, just the descriptor) might be the go instead. Conversation was initially bright and light hearted (to quote Minchin) and it continued to be both bright and light hearted throughout the evening. The subject matter, however, got deeper as time went on. (See graph below.)

God is good. Not only does He answer my prayers, He allows me to draw close to Him. Even in the midst of suffering, God is always there for me. I may not always be able to see Him, feel Him, touch Him, taste Him or hear Him, but He is there for me nonetheless.

God is the only constant. Well, and taxis.

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Paul said...

U make me laugh little sister! can hear ur tone of voice with each sentence.
That Japanese lady was lovely, that was such a gift brought on by ur (assertive) openness to let me decide! Lol. :) Thanqu!
I feel so well appreciated by u, & it is ditto vice versa. I will enjoy reading ur blog, and maybe setting 1up 1 day. (welcome to help after NY if u dare...)
Also feeling amused & loved by God as I thought He was only answering my prayer! x2 is pretty nifty. But thats God. Confirms my need to ask more often.
I think the graph is accurate, except for the tail end. Life death and taxis moment should have taken the curve back past zero into the minuses. Lol very much. God fill u with His love this beautiful Pentecost day. Ill b praying for u, needless to say. :)

Kelly said...

She was so sweet!
Thank you for the invite!!
That you have a Blogger Profile means you're more than half way there. :D

I'll grant that the end point needs to indicate less depth than when we hopped in the car, but I'll not concede that it should be in the negative. ;)

Happy Birthday to the Church and, so, to you, brother.
You're in my prayers too.

God bless.

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